Back to the past of wife swapping.

In the fifties the media referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but not considering of its name this non-monogamous subculture seems to be increasing in popularity among typical, grown-up married couples in USA. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the phenomenon, frequently putting a positive spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon marriages. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in about all states as well as Canada, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are profitable businesses which supply all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special vacation sites for swingers, and yearly gatherings and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel bureau, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in December of 1999.
What precisely is swinging? Not like “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and broadmindedness of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of many sex partners at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated much like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the ultimate goal. Wife swapping is usually done in the presence of one’s spouse and requires the consent of both to the experience. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are rules restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its advocates claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural desires for sexual variety, the couple can explore their fantasies mutually without cheating or guilt. By removing the need for deceit from the marriage, a fresh level of reliance and openness about all of one’s feelings is apparently achieved without the harsh baggage of suspicion.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and academic interest because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is deeply “deviant” from the western model of idealistic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle in fact strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 38% of husbands and 31% of wives, sometimes so-called hotwives confess to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 61%, and where family insecurity and parental neglect of kids has become a main national worry, any effort to redefine “love” and fortify the marital relationship is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going section of the residents reported in past studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the broad public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the gladness of their marriages and life satisfaction generally as higher than the non-swinging population.

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